One of the most difficult things about using the restroom at church is trying to figure out where to put my Bible. Some churches that I've been to have these very nice Bible shelves. You walk in to the restroom, place your Bible on the shelf, and when you've completed your business, you just pick up your Bible and move along. It may make you feel like a Kinder-gardener who is leaving their belongings in their cubby, but at least your Bible will be kept clean and free from all of the restrooms impurities. But what if you don't have a Bible shelf? What should we do with our Bible while we use the restroom? Here are a few suggestions:
1) Put it underneath your arm.
I understand this is much easier for some than it is for others, but it's always worth a try. I will caution you though; if you feel that your Bible is slipping, or if you feel that you are just unable to hold your Bible under your arm while you poop or pee, then try something different immediately. There's nothing worse than having to clean your Bible off because it's fallen on the restroom floor, and who knows what it's falling into.
2) Place it on the back of the urinal or toilet.
Hmmm...This one is pretty disgusting, but if you enter the stall with Bible in hand this may be your only choice. The best way to prepare for this is to carry a zip-lock bag in your Bible case, once you enter the stall, place your Bible inside of the bag and then place your Bible on the back of the toilet. This will keep your Bible clean, and make you look extra holy to the other parishioners who are in the restroom with you.
3) Place your Bible on the sink counter.
It makes perfect sense doesn't it? You walk in to the restroom and there it is; the sink counter. This is a great option if you're in a rush, but I will caution you, when you reaching for a towel to dry your hands after you've washed your hands, you may want to grab a couple of extra towels for your Bible; it will probably be wet from the free standing water left on the counter from others who have washed their hands before you.
4) leave your Bible on your pew or seat.
This option makes sense, but beware, this could lead people to think that you forgot your Bible at home, or worse yet, that you're not as Holy as they are. The best way to handle this is to walk into the restroom and say something loudly like "Boy, I can't wait to get back to my King James; I left it on my seat". This step will not only keep your Bible clean but lead others to believe you have an incredible relationship with your Bible. I will caution you, my son has left his Bible on a pew before and while using the restroom it was stolen, yes stolen! So if you want to be really safe, add a GPS tracking device. The blinking light should keep sticky fingers off.
These of course are only a few of the many things we can do with our Bible's while we use the restroom. I'd encourage you to comment and add a few of your own. Truth said, I've tried all of these and I can use a few new ideas.
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